One day I was bouldering at Joshua Tree National Park. I had just gotten there and had yet to re-accustom myself to heights. So I was climbing around, just having fun. Not really trying to do anything difficult at all when I suddenly found myself stuck and terrified. I knew I wasn’t that high up but it seemed as if I was in a very precarious position and I froze. My breathing quickened, I got a little light headed and shaky feeling. My method for dealing with this in the past was to intentionally relax my body and try to breath evenly and deeply. That method is sometimes useful for a quick fix, but it doesn’t really clear the fear out. There is always some residue left. So this time I embraced the fear and just let it run completely through me. My breathing got really big and intense for a bit and the dizziness also got more intense. Then it just popped like a bubble and I felt free and relaxed. I turned my head and saw a boulder below me about 5 feet away. Without even thinking about it, I leaped backward and spinning into space, bounded off the boulder, continued the spiral movement and landed on the ground full of joy at my new found freedom. This kind of freedom from fear is only to be found by going through the emotion. Suppressing it will never lead to that kind of centered clarity.
So here is the practice. Think now of something of which you are afraid. Choose something that will just get you going a little. Nothing too dramatic or intense because I’m going to ask you to really go there in your imagination and your body can’t tell the difference between imagining and actually experiencing. Imagine you are in this situation. Get into all the details. What the place is like. How it smells. The lighting. Any sounds you can hear. Let the story unfold somewhat until you are feeling the fear. Once you can feel fear, direct your attention to the sensation of it. Where do you feel it? Notice if the sensation changes as you pay attention to it. Now let go of the story. If thoughts about it continue, just notice them the same as you are noticing your sensation. Ask yourself this question, “Can I allow this to be here fully?” Embrace the sensation of fear. Dive into the center of it and allow it to move as it will. Notice what happens to your breath.
